Sunday, November 1, 2009

Trouble at the Canadian Border, and A Fun Time in Calgary

Hi Blog!!! I missed you. The past few weeks I never really had anything to tell you about so I stayed away from you so you wouldn't have to hear about uninteresting things that were happening to me. This can range from reading fanficiton, doing homework, crying about homework, being stressed, planning a road trip, more homework, etc. See this is all very boring.

So I figured I'd just hold out on you till I had a good story to tell. Wanna hear a good story?

Well it started on Thursday night. I came home from night classes and did a final check of my stuff for the road trip to Calgary. There were two purposes to this trip: 1. See my favorite Canadian band Marianas Trench and 2. Get fairly wasted.

Now I don't get wasted often. I enjoy a drink every now and then, but I prefer to do this in a social setting, not in my bedroom alone. This means I AM A LIGHTWEIGHT. Being 5 feet tall does not help this fact.

So on Thursday night I packed a bag and headed over to my cousins. Me, my boyfriend Jesse, and my cousins Nick, Kelly, and Mandi were going to pull of the 8 hour road trip into Canada, there and back, in 2.5 days.

Friday morning we left, and the first three hours of driving were great. We were young, excited, and ready to take on Canada. We stopped at a gas station to buy some beer and wine because it was cheaper to buy in America, then headed to the border.

Here is where things go a little wrong. How about a scene for you?

Canadian border patrol guy (CBP): *asks incessant questions*

Kelly (who is driving): *Gives constant honest answers*

CBP: Any alcohol, drugs, or tobacco in the vehicle?

Kelly: 3 cases of Kokanne, no drugs, no tobacco.

CBP: Any mace or pepper spray?

Kelly: Nope.

Holly: *I didn't pack my mace did I? No...I'm pretty sure I didn't...I didn't...*

CBP: Any weapons?

Kelly: No.

CBP: Please pull forward and park on the side of the building and don't get out of the car.

Holly: Wait! I might have mace in my purse, it's in the back of the car, I can't remember if I packed it or not. I might have.

CBP: It's too late for that.

Kelly: *Drives over to said area*

Holly: What the hell does that mean?

Nick: Does my pocket knife count as a weapon?

Everyone: YES!

Kelly: I think I have Cigarettes.

Mandi: We didn't claim that we had a bottle of wine...is that bad?

Everyone: Probably.

CBP: *shows up and has white gloves on* Driver step out of the vehicle. *checks Kelly for weapons and leads him into an outdoor room with a window to look out of where you can see the vehicle*

CBP: *Does this to each of us until I'm the last person in the car*

CBP: Last girl, step out the vehicle. *I step out of the vehicle*. You're in a world of trouble.

Holly: ...why?

CBP: You didn't claim your mace.

Holly: I don't even know if it's in there. I can't remember if I packed it or not.

CBP: Any weapons on you? Anything in your pockets, your boots?

Holly: ...no...

CBP: Go stand in the room. *I go into the room and he locks us inside*

Jesse: What the hell?

Holly: He said I was "in a world of trouble". What does that mean?

*All of us watch as he grabs the wine, pocket knife, cigarettes, and mace out the vehicle*

Everyone: We are totally F*(@#d

CBP: *Unlocks door* So here is the deal. I found tobacco, alcohol, a pocket knife, and mace that you didn't claim. You all left your rights as U.S. citizens at the border. I have enough here to charge you all and take you to jail and take away your vehicle. You all lied to a federal agent.

Everyone: *Looks of horror*

CBP: But hey, we're practically cousins here. It's hard to remember that this is a foreign country sometimes I mean we all talk the same and basically look the same. So what I'm going to do is let you four go.

Holly: *...isn't there 5 of us....*

CBP: And you *points at me* are going to come with me, you are in a lot of trouble. You guys can hang out in the car and I'm taking her back inside with me to fill out some stuff.

Holly: *Holy S*@# what did I do...!?!?!?!*

Pretty much, the guy had enough to eff us over big time. Even though almost everyone in the car didn't claim something that was considered dangerous, I got screwed because I was the one who SAID something...remember:

"Holly: Wait, I might have mace in my purse, it's in the back of the car, I can't remember if I packed it or not. I might have."

Because I said something AFTER he said he was going to search the car I GOT EFFED! He didn't want to give us a full punishment...more just a reminder, it's not like he could just let us go for free. So my tiny 5 oz bottle of self defense mace (apparently scarier and more dangerous than a 7 inch pocket knife) got me six years of being in the system of the FBI and CIA. Anytime I try to leave the country I will probably get searched.

But as my friendly "cousin" and CBP guy put it: "If you have nothing to hide you'll be fine. You just might want to leave for flights a few minutes earlier than usual. I can tell this was clearly a mistake of forgetting."

Hell yeah it was.

Really not a big deal, but when I was in an interrogation room alone with the guy and he was telling me I had no rights...well I was a little freaked out. You can't tell me you wouldn't be too.

He was a nice guy who knew we were just dumb kids. He basically just wanted us to take Canada more seriously as a "foreign" country. It's hard to think of it that way just because it's not as exotic/different of a place than say if we went to Germany or something. I mean Canada is practically America and America is practically Canada. PRACTICALLY. Minus the way we say about, out, and eh.

After that small discrepancy...we got to Calgary around 9pm, checked into the hotel and 3/5 of us decided to sleep including myself, while the two others just got wasted until 4am and they passed out.

The next morning we went to Boston Pizza for breakfast and I ordered a drink with alcohol in it. This is the second time I've been able to do this legally. The first being in Australia. I was thrilled, it was kind of cool to do something different. A $8 drink though! I will learn on this trip the cost of tiny alcoholic drinks is INSANE.

Afterwards we hung out again at the hotel after driving through downtown a bit (super gorgeous city).

That night was Halloween, Mandi and I dropped the boys off on 17th ave downtown *A prominent bar hopping spot* and went off to our concert.

Needless to say Marianas Trench was worth being on a surveillance list for the next 6years. They were so good! And very talented guys. It was so much fun! The lead singer dressed up as Little Bo Peep and the rest of the band was 'the sheep'. Hilarious.

Afterwards, it was midnight so we went to the bar where the boys were at. Mandi is only 17 so she couldn't go inside which was a huge bummer. Nick was VERY MUCH done drinking (passed out) so we hauled him outside and threw him in the back seat and Mandi drove him back to the hotel.

I then proceeded to follow Kelly and Jesse into the first bar/club I'd ever been in. I had one beer, one tiny rum and coke, and one tiny vodka tonic (a total of $27!!!). I had no idea what to order so I just picked generic things I'd heard people order on TV before and hoped it sounded legitimate.

We got a cool little VIP booth the boys had had for the night. It was so weird being in a club. I wasn't sure how to act, but everyone was so friendly and drunk and in a costume no one really cared. So I just let my inhibitions go and had the time of my life. I even got my *I never ever dance* boyfriend to dance with me. It's amazing the things drunk people will do.

A few hours later Mandi picked us up. Kelly proceeded to yell 'America' out the widow and moon people. Normally this would have infuriated me as being very stereotypical American and really obnoxious and rude. However, I was so drunk I laughed the hardest I'd ever laughed at anything. The Canadians all dressed in costumes hanging out on the street were too drunk to care as well and I even saw a few of them laughing.

It was a great time. Back at the hotel we continued to indulge in the 'fire whiskey'. It was about 5:30am when we finally went to bed. I woke up this morning and almost puked 10 times. I had the worst hang over I've ever had, which only felt mildy better when I indulged in greasy bacon. Worth it? Yes. Worth it again and again. So fun! I love Calgary, everyone was so nice and cool. The city is beautiful was well. Canadians know how to party.

Here are a few things that I always want to remember from his trip:

A drunk man with a smiley face taped to his face and a giant joint taped to it.
'WINDOWS DOWN! WINDOWS DOWN!'
Giant Marshmallows.
Haddaway's 'What is love'
'Is a pocket knife considered a weapon?'
Popped Collar dude
'TREE SWAMP!'
Calgary hitch hikers
'You are in a world of trouble'
Jessica ABLA
'This is hilarious!'
That tall guy who bent low so that us people under 5"3 could see
'I'm sorry I can't finish this song that guy looks like such a douche bag'
Sal's bar
'Richard no!'
Mandi screaming at us for being drunk and having to pick us up, then proceeding to get smashed with us later.
'Did you just burp right in my face?'
Nick hitting on every waitress and getting turned down
'I've never been this drunk before'
High fiving feet

And now I'm home...back to boring life. I have finals coming up in a month and NaNoWriMo all month to keep me PLENTY busy.

-Holly

4 comments:

Megan said...

that whole post - well, apart from the whole police thing - is hilarious!

sounds like you had a great time (minus the police thing)

good luck writing!

devon314 said...

when MT were on the east coast i drove from NH to Canada to see them and i agree TOTALLLYYY worth it!

yikes what a scary border crossing! :/

Hollishillis said...

@megan haha it was a fun time, but yes minus the border crossing. ah!

@devon314 Oh aren't they wonderful!?! Good thing we both live in states bordering canada. It would suck to drive there from like Arizona or something. It was worth it 100 times over.

devon314 said...

they're perfect...i feel like i dont have enough friends who love them and the friends i do have MIGHT be getting sick of my ABSOLUTE ADORATION of this band.

i try to pretend i dont love them as much as i do -- its not working.